Attachment-Based Parent Coaching

You love your baby. And still something feels hard.

Maybe bonding didn't happen the way you expected. Maybe your baby came home from the NICU and you've been in survival mode ever since. Maybe you adopted or fostered and you're working hard to build a connection that didn't start at birth.

Or maybe everything looks fine from the outside — but you find yourself wondering why certain moments with your baby feel distant, or why your own history keeps showing up in ways you didn't expect.

None of this means you're doing it wrong. It means the relationship needs some support. And relationships can be supported.

What is attachment-based parent coaching?

Attachment-based parent coaching is a focused, evidence-informed approach to strengthening the relationship between you and your infant or toddler — specifically by working on the things that get in the way of connection.

It's not therapy for your child. It's not a parenting class. It's a collaborative process where we look closely at what's happening between you and your baby, what might be making connection harder than it should be, and what you can do — practically and relationally — to shift it.

I'm trained in Attachment and Biobehavioral Catchup — ABC — one of the most well-researched attachment-based interventions available for parents of infants and young children. ABC was developed specifically for children who have experienced early adversity and whose attachment relationships need targeted support. The research behind it is strong and growing.

What attachment-based parent coaching helps with

Bonding difficulties and postpartum connection You expected to feel it immediately. You didn't — or it came slowly, or it still feels like you're going through the motions. Bonding difficulties after birth are more common than anyone talks about and are often tied to perinatal mental health, birth experience, and your own history. This work addresses all of it.

NICU and early medical trauma When your baby's early weeks happened in a hospital rather than at home, the normal process of building a relationship gets interrupted. Parents who've been through a NICU stay often describe feeling disconnected, anxious, or hypervigilant long after their baby is home. Attachment-based coaching helps rebuild what early adversity interrupted.

Adoption and foster care Children who came to you through adoption or foster care may have experienced early relational disruption, neglect, or multiple caregiving transitions. Building a secure attachment relationship with a child whose early history includes loss requires a specific kind of understanding and a specific set of tools. ABC was designed with exactly this population in mind.

Parents navigating their own attachment history How you were parented lives in your body. It shows up in how you respond to your baby's cries, how comfortable you are with closeness, how you handle your child's distress. If your own early history was marked by inconsistency, loss, or trauma, that doesn't mean you're destined to repeat it. But it does mean it's worth looking at — before it shapes the relationship without you realizing it.

The "I don't know why this is hard" feeling Sometimes parents come to this work without a clear presenting problem. They just know something feels off. The connection isn't what they imagined. They feel more irritable than loving, more anxious than present. That's enough. That's exactly what this work is for.

What ABC is and how it works

Attachment and Biobehavioral Catchup is a structured 10-session intervention developed by Dr. Mary Dozier at the University of Delaware. It targets three things that research has identified as central to early attachment security:

Nurturance — responding to your child's distress with warmth even when it feels hard or when your own history makes closeness uncomfortable.

Following the child's lead — reading and responding to your baby's cues in a way that builds their sense of agency and trust in the relationship.

Avoiding frightening behavior — understanding the ways that a parent's own history or stress can show up as behavior that is inadvertently alarming to a young child, and learning to interrupt those patterns.

Sessions are structured and home practice is built in. The work is collaborative — you bring what you know about your child and your family, I bring the clinical framework and the research. Together we build something that actually fits.

What to expect

We begin with a thorough conversation about your child, your family, and what's bringing you to this work. From there, coaching sessions are structured around the ABC framework — but always grounded in what's actually happening in your relationship with your specific child.

ABC is a 10-session model. Some families complete the core work and feel ready to move forward on their own. Others continue with ongoing attachment-focused coaching or transition into family therapy. The path depends on what you need.

Sessions are virtual, via a HIPAA-compliant telehealth platform, across PSYPACT states.

Is this right for my family?

Attachment-based parent coaching with ABC may be a good fit if:

• Your child is between birth and 3 years old

• You're struggling with bonding or connection and want targeted support

• Your child came home through adoption or foster care

• Your baby had a NICU stay or early medical complications that disrupted your early time together

• You're aware that your own attachment history is showing up in your parenting and you want to address it

• You want something more structured and evidence-based than general parenting support

If you're not sure whether this is the right fit, a free consultation is the best place to start.

Frequently asked questions

My baby is 6 weeks old. Is it too early to start? It's never too early to support the attachment relationship. In fact early intervention is one of the most powerful things you can do for your child's long term development. If you're struggling with bonding in the early weeks, please reach out.

My child is 2.5. Is it too late? No. The attachment relationship is most sensitive in the first year but continues developing through early childhood. The work is still highly effective with toddlers up to age 3, and in many cases beyond.

I was adopted myself. Does that affect this work? It can — and it's worth talking about. Parents who were adopted or who experienced early relational disruption themselves sometimes find that their child's needs activate their own history in unexpected ways. This work holds both.

Can my partner participate? Yes, and it's encouraged. Attachment security is built across all of a child's primary relationships. When both caregivers are working from the same framework the impact is considerably stronger.

How is this different from therapy? Attachment-based parent coaching is focused, structured, and skill-based. It's not open-ended talk therapy. The goal is specific — strengthening the relationship between you and your child — and the work is organized around that goal. Some families also benefit from individual therapy alongside this work, particularly if a parent's own history is significantly present. I can help you figure out what combination makes sense.

The early years matter more than any other time in your child's development. This is worth doing.

Secure attachment doesn't require a perfect parent. It requires a present one — and support when presence is hard.

Dr. Lexie offers virtual attachment-based parent coaching and ABC for families across PSYPACT states including Illinois, Maryland, Washington, D.C., New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Florida. She specializes in infant mental health, bonding difficulties, adoption, NICU trauma, and early childhood development.